Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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