I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
