I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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