All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
