Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
