then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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