What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
