We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
