I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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