I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
