i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
