Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
