Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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