That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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