Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
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I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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