He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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