I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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