Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
