Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
