after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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