I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
