Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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