Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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