Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she peed on how many people?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
