I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
