I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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