White coat. Heels.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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