I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
