are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
