I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
