my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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