Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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