Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ketchup is God's man juice
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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