i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
