The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize