How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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