Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
