True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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