I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
