I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
