I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
