Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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