He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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