I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
