Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
