I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
