U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
