i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
