I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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