...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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