i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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