The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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