you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
