I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
