i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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