you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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