shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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