singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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