rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just want to make out with him forever
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
