The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
