Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
