I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
